FORGET REDNECKS; THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAD TO SAY ABOUT UTAHNS!
~If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah.
~If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Utah.
~If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah.
~If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.
~If 'vacation' means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.
~If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.
~If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.
~If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.
~If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Utah.
~If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.
~If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.
~If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph -- you're going 80, and everyone is still passing you, you live in Utah.
~If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.
~If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.
~If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly' you live in Utah.
~If you actually understand these jokes you live in Utah.
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