Sunday, May 09, 2010
a year makes...
you may all remember my last mother's day post... it was a tough one.
again, a friend of mine said it best...
"Don't take this wrong, but I sorta hate Mother's Day, ( I adore, love and honor my own Mother) and I admit this year (is) easier now that I (am pregnant). But after 7 years of infertility, Mother's Day seems like a swear word, and it has a not very lovely spot in my heart.
I am one of those people who want to hide away in my house and not leave AT ALL, so that I don't have to interact with anyone or hear that awkward pause, "uh...happy uh Mother's Day" Or the "you're a mother too". I know these things are said with good intentions, and from people that I love, but it always hurt.
I still have my insecurities, but I have been given the gift I most long for so I am thankful to God for that. So, now on Mother's day my heart ache for those that don't have what I have, because I know how it feels, and I just want you to know that I love you all, and hope you make it through this day. "
i am so blessed to have my sweet husband. i love him more and more everyday. and i am so grateful for my mom and all that she does for us. and i am extremely blessed to be given this little life growing inside of me! for that, i am forever grateful.
but i feel a tad like a hypocrite... just because i am gonna be a mom now, doesn't mean that all of my previous mother's day thoughts and feeling can go away.
i do have a different perspective of it now, amazing what years of not having something will do for a girl!! but, i think the day is more of a day to celebrate being a women, not just a mom.
so, here is to you!! all of you wonderful friends out there! some i have met in person, others just through this amazing thing we call the internet. i have learned something (many things) valuable from each of you.
thanks for being there for me.
thanks for listening to me, again. :)
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
i have really enjoyed being pregnant and since this whole experience is such a miracle i wanted to take a minute and share some of the things i love/don't love about being pregnant.
at 30 weeks along ...
** i can feel my baby move more and more! i love it! i probably didn't really know i was feeling her until i was about 20 weeks along or so, now i feel her all of the time! very cool.
** i have a baby bump! i am a bigger girl and so noticing that i am pregnant is not as easy as it is for smaller gals. my tummy is starting to show more. i like that, but sometimes i just look like i have gained weight. i don't let it bother me, cuz i know it is my baby.
** i have only had heartburn a couple of times. i am very lucky that it hasn't bothered me much. i just take 2 tums and i am good to go.
** when i am sitting at a desk or table i feel her move lower in my belly. when i am relaxed on the couch or in bed she is up high by my belly button.
** a few weeks ago i was laying in bed reading my pregnancy book and all of a sudden the book jumped! i kinda giggled and put the book down and watched my tummy. sure enough, she was going to town!! i could see my belly just bouncing all over the place! so dang cool!! i wish kevin would have been home to see it too!
** my lower and upper back hurts if i sit for too long in one place. lots of pillows and movement are the key for me.
** i am a stomach sleeper and i am still able to sleep that way!! i am not sure how much longer that will be the case, but for now i am enjoying it!!
** i get up to go to the restroom every few hours!! not fun. i told my best friend the other day that i thought the baby thought my bladder was like a trampoline! bounce. bounce. bounce.
** she loves american idol. whenever it is on she is dancing all over the place!
** i get more excited and nervous everyday.
** i think we have decided on a name for sure. but we aren't wanting to tell everyone yet. :)
** kevin is so dang cute! he will get right up close to my belly and say " hello baby!! it is your dad! i love you! your mama and i can't wait to meet you in july! you need to stay in there and get strong and healthy. we love you! "
** i love kevin. he is going to be an amazing daddy.
** we have been taking lots of classes for the baby too... early pregnancy and infant safety are done. prepared childbirth, breastfeeding and new parenting are coming up!! wow....
** this is such an amazing experience. i decided long ago that if/when i ever got pregnant that i would love it. i think it is such a cool thing and i am so honored to be able to carry my child. i love being pregnant and i wouldn't trade it for the world.