Sunday, May 09, 2010

what a difference...

a year makes...
you may all remember my last mother's day post... it was a tough one.
again, a friend of mine said it best...
"Don't take this wrong, but I sorta hate Mother's Day, ( I adore, love and honor my own Mother) and I admit this year (is) easier now that I (am pregnant). But after 7 years of infertility, Mother's Day seems like a swear word, and it has a not very lovely spot in my heart.
I am one of those people who want to hide away in my house and not leave AT ALL, so that I don't have to interact with anyone or hear that awkward pause, "uh...happy uh Mother's Day" Or the "you're a mother too". I know these things are said with good intentions, and from people that I love, but it always hurt.
I still have my insecurities, but I have been given the gift I most long for so I am thankful to God for that. So, now on Mother's day my heart ache for those that don't have what I have, because I know how it feels, and I just want you to know that I love you all, and hope you make it through this day. "
i am so blessed to have my sweet husband. i love him more and more everyday. and i am so grateful for my mom and all that she does for us. and i am extremely blessed to be given this little life growing inside of me! for that, i am forever grateful.
but i feel a tad like a hypocrite... just because i am gonna be a mom now, doesn't mean that all of my previous mother's day thoughts and feeling can go away.
i do have a different perspective of it now, amazing what years of not having something will do for a girl!! but, i think the day is more of a day to celebrate being a women, not just a mom.
so, here is to you!! all of you wonderful friends out there! some i have met in person, others just through this amazing thing we call the internet. i have learned something (many things) valuable from each of you.
thanks for being there for me.
thanks for listening to me, again. :)

4 comments:

noelani said...

my 2 cents...so remember how you hated valentines day too? do you still? I think that a change of heart can happen anytime about anything and that as long as you are aware of it and know it it shows you are growing into someone new. I am such a different person than i was 15 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago...and I think even from last year to know i have changed a lot...it is natural and you know life is a learning process. love what you hated and you may one day hate what you loved.

Remodelaholic said...

Jennie. I love you! I cannot wait for you to hold that perfect little baby in your arms and let the hurt melt away.

I also know that it may not happen immediately and that you will always be aware of people different situations on these days. Now that you are finally getting to ride off into the sunset... you can be thankful that you have the perspective that most people will never understand and that you can succor the ones who are hurting.

I just really want you to know that I just love you! Good luck, I am SO excited for you!

A 'n D said...

you're just wonderful! i'm glad you share so much - it's good for all of us!

and thank you also for the mother's day greetings & anniversary wishes! i can't remember if i sent you a text back (if i didn't shame on me!!!) and i hope you had a most lovely weekend yourself!

Our ABC Family said...

You are an amazing woman Jennie! I seriously look up to you in so many ways! Thank-you for sharing how you feel, I know that your words and thoughts may be a help and comfort to many out there! So excited for you and that new little baby that will be coming!